growing up forces me to be involved in family feuds i dont even want to know about. growing up reveals to me the beasty side of people i thought were angles. worse, people i respect (or better said, 'used to respect') with all my life. everyone has a dark side, i know. but certain people are just too nice in the outside to possibly have a darkside.
growing up builds this defensive feeling i get when i see people, since i have come to realize that people aren't always as nice as seen by the eyes.
growing up made me realize that there are certain things i just don't want to know.i no longer want to know everything. and there's a lot of things i know that i regret knowing. hah. what the hell..
the more i grow up, the farther i drift away from my supposedly close to perfect life..
the more i grow up, the less complete i feel. my sister's away now for another 4 or more years, mom's at some other place, friends are all over the world, cousins are far away. haha.. where did everyone go?
the more i grow up, the more people come and go, and i hate it when people come and go.
the more i grow up, the more i question life. its meaning. its purpose. nothing's settled. it keeps changing everytime as i experience a lot of different things..
im starting to lose the meaning of those childhood fantasy.
growin up is more than just choosing the best clothes to wear to some place, wearing high heels to church or some party..
as i grow up, i realized that things aren't always as good as they are in your dreams.
4 Comments:
creeeezzzz
i know how you feel, not exactly but im sure i can relate. and yea..the whole thing of growing up is really frustrating, confusing, and straight up disappointing. we have to come to terms with a lot of things we just didnt see when we were little.
i hope you are coping with everything...it souds like you are. sure, we feel like flushing everything down the toilet...but in the end we always keep fighting and looking for answers. i guess it's this stage of life.
i love you creez! and although we are super far away from each other i always keep you in my mind. we weren't all that close in AIIAS but i do value reading your blog and i care a lot about you.
hope you feel better soon!!!
♥
Hey creez.. :) That's ok.. growing up is better than "growing old" or "aging." Haha..
Don't worry, we're still here. The world is small (even smaller because of the Internet).
I kinda have a blog talking about "growing up" in friendster. :)
i heard someone said, 'growing up means you're not selfish anymore'. so we're still in the very beginning state of that growing up things, i guess. just enjoy and let it flow. growing up is something we have to deal with. just remember, the process doesn't involve you alone, but also zillion people around you, including me. love!
are u indonesian btw?it's kinda hard to read ur blog when all of the posting used english, at least for someone who the brain size are smaller than yours, look at ur forehead!! Godbless
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